I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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