I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize