Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sober January is a disaster.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
