i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
