We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
