I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Let's get the cat blown out
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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