hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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