Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
