I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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