This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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