I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
