she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
