If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
