I heard we made out
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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