i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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