so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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