God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
