Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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