the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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