i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize