I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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