if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
