You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
