hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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