Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
