I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All the doctor said was why
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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