she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
