i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize