so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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