3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
