True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
