Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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