Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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