WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
