I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
