you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
