i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
