What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
