just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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