I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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