you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
