I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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