I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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