Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
