I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
