I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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