I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
