it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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