wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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