He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
i think my cat just said my name.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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