So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
