I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
