Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
