I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
