Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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