life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
