Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize