Whod you bang
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
