We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
