If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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